Ana Pires 2.0

It is not possible that I haven’t updated this blog in nearly a month. It is not possible I have 1327 messages on my inbox at DeviantArt. And the PostSecret Community, I’ve stopped posting there. And I’ve stopped browsing through Amazon too.

What is wrong with me?

I’ll tell you what’s wrong with me - University.

It’s not that tiring and it’s not that special I’ve been saying. But now, in the final exams month, things are getting a bit complicated. I’m not sure if I’ll manage to pass all my subjects - I’m fairly sure I won’t at least one. But I don’t know, I’m calm, even if I miss one or two, it’s not the end of the world. I guess… I hope.

I haven’t been sleeping right for a long time either. Sometimes I don’t even put on my pajamas, I just take my evening shower and get dressed for the next day. Studying all night is very productive, but very tiring as well. Specially the next day. It’s terrible, and there’s only so much coffee can do…

The most nerve wrecking thing though… One I haven’t told anyone. I gained three kilos. It’s not a big deal and I won’t obsess over it… Okay, yes it is and yes I will. How did I gain three kilos? That can not be! It just can not be. I have to lose them now. I really do. Those three kilos will be in my mind constantly until they’re gone. So they really have to go.

Rationally thinking though, it’s okay. I’ve lost twelve kilos before, I’m sure I can lose three. I’ll just get back on my bicycle more often this University break I have and I’ll be sure to get back in shape. I also know I can’t let myself go or forget about this, it’s not that small an issue. 50 kilos is my goal again, and I plan to reach it this month.

Anyway, more quick news from me.
I managed to get my scholarship. Hurray for that! And I kind of like writing papers now, they can be kind of fun. And I have developed a new hatred for orals.

I will probably have more time next month, on my one month break. If I even stop exercising that is. Then, second semester starts, and it’s the same thing all over again.

First of all - Happy New Year everyone! May 2008 bring you all the good things you want and deserve.

With the New Year, the time to make New Year Resolutions has come.Most people I know don’t make them, they find them silly and say the motivation to accomplish them quickly fades. But personally, I’m really starting to love New Year Resolutions.

There are a few things you should keep in mind, of course.

For example, if you know you won’t be able to accomplish something, then just don’t try. Maybe you’re not ready yet, maybe it’s not time. Either way, it’s fine. I want to learn how to play the piano, I want to learn Japanese and Italian and German. Can I do all that this year, together with the other things I want? No, I can’t. And again, that’s fine. In the future, when I’m at a different stage of my life, maybe.

And also, it’s not a race or a contest, it’s something you’d like to do this year. So don’t stress about it. If it’s something important, make the decision to do it, and just do your best to get it done.

So, moving on, what do I want for 2008?

Keep the damn weight off.
In 2006 one of my resolutions was to lose 30 pounds. I did it. In 2007 one of my resolutions was to keep the weight off. And I did that too. So I guess this is going to be a resolution for the rest of my life, because it is a choice, and one I don’t want to stop.

Stop biting the damn nails.
It’s not even the nails anymore. It the actual finger around the nails, the skin. And it’s disgusting, I know, and it looks terrible and red and sick, I know. So I’ll try and stop.

Be fluent in French.
I can’t believe I spent 5 years learning French and that the only thing I can say fluently are Mylène Farmer’s lyrics. I know pretty much all the grammar, I really do. But the fluency… So, I’ll be reading a lot and I’ll be hitting the PhraseBase and Skype forums looking for French friends who want to language exchange with me. My goal, to be half as fluent in French as I am in English.

Get new friends.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy with my current friends and have no intention of losing touch. But still, I want new people in my life. I need new people in my life. How I’ll get them is still undecided. Maybe I’ll flat out ask my current friends to introduce me to their friends, or maybe I’ll join some group or I don’t know. I’ll figure it out with time, I guess.

Stay in University.
Because although I tell everyone it’s really cool - and it is, really! - it’s definitely wearing and tiring, and that together with the family I have, sometimes - just sometimes - makes me think. My new thinking will be that I wasn’t exactly 100% happy with secondary school either, and I finished that alright - the same thing will happen with University. Tired or not, I just have to get through it.

So these are mine. Not too ambitious, not to serious or unrealistic.
What are yours?