Ana 1.0

Master’s first week gone by.

Posted in Fear, Stress, University by Ana Félix Pires on October 4, 2010

First week of Master’s gone, second one about to start.

The first week of classes is usually problematic and stressful enough as it is, so I decided to leave the enrolling for the week after. There was another reason, one that I didn’t tell anybody. What if I enroll and pay my tuition and then on the very first week realize from the professors’ summaries that the classes are just too much for me? Not what if I get scared or what if I change my mind – what if I genuinely know I won’t be able to go through with it?

I still don’t know for sure, but I don’t genuinely know that I can’t either, so I’ll be doing it this week. Sorry savings account, again.

The first week went by okay. Having a reliable laptop makes classes 100% easier to go through. Sometimes a professor will ramble on about something for longer than they have to or tell you a long personal anecdote or something else that you don’t really need to be completely paying attention to or writing down on your notes, that can make you feel a bit like you’re wasting time. When you can do something else while still listening, say check your email or reply to someone’s tweet, you don’t feel so much like yelling at the professor to please go on so we can finish early and not have to get home at 23:30. Even better if what you’re killing time with is something you’d have to do at home, like organize and complete your notes or revise something that you didn’t quite get.

There’s something incredibly satisfying about looking at LOLcats when you’re not supposed to be looking at LOLcats as well. I guess it’s the thrill of trying to get away with it, together with trying not to smile or laugh at the images so as not to get caught, but it’s plenty of fun and a great remedy to when you’re sleepy.

The commuting isn’t so bad as I thought it’d be. The train and bus station are pretty busy, even at that hour. The scariest bit is on the street, going from the university to the train station. It’s a well lit street, though it could still be better, and there are always a few cars coming and going. There are a couple of shops still open at that time as well. So I  tie my hair up, because I don’t want it getting in the way of me looking around me or making me look like an easier target, I walk in a fast pace and keep to the center of the sidewalk, so that if someone has to pass by me, they first have to go around me giving me notice of their presence, or so if someone comes towards me, they have at least half of a sidewalk to go through before reaching me giving me one second to realize someone is coming.

Is this me being paranoid? No, definitely not. I’m a woman, and women are usually the preferred targets, so we have to worry twice as much as men do, together with things that don’t even cross men’s minds at all. I’m also short and clearly not too athletic. Definitely not too athletic. My awareness of my surroundings, my assertiveness or unapproachableness or whatever you want to call it and my willingness to be loud and fight back is what’s going for me in case I find myself in a bad situation.

Hopefully everything will continue to go smoothly. Off I go, getting ready for classes.

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4 Responses

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  1. Slamdunk said, on October 4, 2010 at 4:18 pm

    Best wishes with your school–multitasking while in class is the best.

  2. Blaze said, on October 5, 2010 at 10:49 pm

    AKA, you are a pussy! Literally :P
    I kid, you know it, I mean it no harm. I have yet to bring my laptop to classes, since we’re so few, I’d be the odd one staring at a laptop. But, let the classes go full speed and I’ll tell you something.
    The classes aren’t that bad and you don’t leave at 23 or something, you leave at 21! Tops.
    Good luck to us.

    • Ana Félix Pires said, on October 7, 2010 at 4:55 pm

      I know I know, I’m a girl. Literally, yes. O.o

      I don’t mind being the only one using a laptop, my notes are so much neater and more organized and the down time feels so much better spent! I wish that were true. There’s two days when I leave earlier, and two when I leave at exactly 22h. xP

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